A national requirement
- Yg. 1920, No. 15 -
Please: this is not a trivial matter, as you suppose, but a matter that concerns the whole German people, as long as it does not walk or walk barefoot. A matter of the widest national importance. Incomprehensible that the public has not taken care of it so far. To my knowledge, not a single party program contains this demand, and no business association has yet issued it; at the most that maybe that National Economic Council , , , but that is future music, as you know.
So the demand is: We need a decent Stiefelwichse! My dominions: the Stiefelwichse conditions are bleak. There are a lot of Stiefelwichsen, pardon: of shoe creams, shoe pastes, shoeshine magic agents. They are all "the best," as we are constantly assured; but a good boot wank (please approve the ordinary, but trustworthy old-fashioned word) is not among them. All produce "high gloss" in a fabulous short time; but they all ruin the leather because they eat it instead of preserving it. You know what a pair of boots cost today; You know in any case that we have leather shortage in Germany. If you have little leather, then you should try to treat this few as possible, so that you have it as long as possible. How can it be that under this assumption (which is logical, my neighbor uses to say), we systematically ruin our shoe leather by means of the planetary, cosmin, colorin and how the impossible and innumerable wolves in sheep's clothing (acids in fat fur?) Are called? If all boots in Germany last a year longer thanks to a shoe polish that preserves, instead of destroying, then we save 25 percent of shoe leather. Is that a small thing? Is that perhaps not in the national interest, Mr. second chairman of the electoral association Ostvorstadt? I say to you: I will only vote for a list at the next election, whose representatives swear to me that they will fight for a good shoe-wax.
But perhaps there is a manufacturer in Germany, to whom terrible injustice happens with these lines. A man who really produces a decent boot wank and says the simple truth when he calls it the "best". But why do not I know him and his prize-worthy product? I've tried countless of the cursed greases; it was not below. dear Ministry of Economic Affairs! Help! (Because in your resort but the Stiefelwichse.) Let a few chemists - but not those who have to do with the production of Stiefelwichse -, but perhaps sworn court chemists, sitting together and durchanalysieren all manufactured in Germany "shoe creams". As an expert advisor, I would recommend an efficient shoemaker (not the managing director of the Association of German Shoe Manufacturers). Should there be a cum, which does the leather well, then give a decree: "Schmotzin is the best Schuhwichse. The Reich Minister of Economics. "From then on, I know what I have to do. Or, if it turns out that all the existing wankers are not "the best", then may the Department of Economics pay a price for the best boot wax and get the patent and set up a factory on it. From then on I will only use "Schmidtin" or whatever it is supposed to mean; and would finally be able to clean my boots without annoying me about the damn cum.
1920, 15 Sch.